Lazy

I need to get off my ass and start doing shit. Got so lazy.. I think it's been a trend in my life. I only put enough effort into something to become good or decent at it then I just give up. The things I am great at are just natural talents, like running fast, great hearing, etc. The things I am good at I worked at like swimming or piano but I never wanted to take that extra step to become really good. Maybe that's why Olympians get to the Olympics, they never give up. Well duh.. that was a pretty obvious answer, but what I'm trying to say is that certain people have that willpower and mentality to keep going. I guess that's what you need if you want to succeed. Hopefully I will find it somewhere in me to try to get some of that. Small steps?

Just Updating

I am slowly deteriorating cause of Ambien, or so I think I am. Not mentally but doing all the stupid things has sort of affected some of the things in my life. I wake up regretting a lot of things I do, which I can't really explain. I went ahead and did some research.. and what I found out was that it's nothing out of the ordinary. A lot of people do crazy stuff, and a lot of the times none of them have any recollection of doing it. There are a bunch of YouTube videos of people doing crazy things as well. All I know is that it's affected a few things for me, but what I regret most is that I'm sure it's changed the way how some of the people I know look at me. It's sad but I really can't help it, since most of the time it's the Ambien and not me. Why is sleep so hard to come by?